Seven reasons why friends or family members shouldn’t officiate your wedding ceremony

1.Friends and relatives may not be the right person for the job

I will say that there most definitely are people out there, (nonprofessional wedding officiants and celebrants) who can do a good, if not excellent job of officiating a wedding ceremony for a friend or family member. But this person is quite rare. The average wedding officiant and celebrant makes what they do look so effortless and easy, that most people are fooled into thinking that anyone can officiate a wedding ceremony, with zero experience or training.

Wedding officiants draw on a combination of skills, training and experiences to create the ceremony magic that they do, and choosing a friend who is confident, and a good public speaker only represents a small fraction of all that is needed to create an amazing ceremony. And let me ask you, how can you choose the right person to officiate your ceremony, if you yourself don’t know what it is that officiants do to create, officiate and lead wedding ceremonies? Sometimes, friends and family members who you think might make a great person to officiate your ceremony, simply aren’t.

2. Officiating a ceremony is not an easy job

Couples do not get to see the planning and the processes that go into creating a personalized wedding ceremony, so they don’t appreciate everything that happens to create that wedding ceremony magic. There is an art to creating a ceremony, which involves more than looking for inspiration on the internet. Also, there are tons of things that can go “wrong” during a typical wedding ceremony. Professional officiants, who do this work regularly, know how to handle awkward moments to smooth them over where, in most cases, people are not even aware that the potential disruption happened.

3. Wedding guests might not take it seriously

In choosing a friend or family member to lead your ceremony, you may inadvertently be sending out the wrong signal to your guests that the ceremony side of things is something that you’re not taking wholly seriously, because you’re putting a friend in charge of the proceedings, rather than a professional. Just maybe.

4. It’s a lot of pressure for non-professionals

In case you haven’t realized it is a big ask, to ask a friend or relative to officiate your wedding ceremony for you. I mean, I see friends freaking out when they have to do a reading for a ceremony, let alone leading an ENTIRE ceremony. At first, after the honor of being asked wears off, then comes the moment of truth, when the person you have asked finally gets to see all that they’ve committed to and this will be the moment where they have their eyes properly opened. And in my experience, it’s always later, rather than sooner, when relatives and friends start to feel the pressure and buckle under the weight of it.

5. Friends may suffer an attack of nerves on the day

The coming together of your ceremony may go well in the planning stages but what about the ceremony delivery itself? Will your friend manage to overcome those nerves to deliver the ceremony in the way it deserves to be delivered? Have you seen a nervous reader at a wedding before? I have, plenty of times. Well, imagine a nervous friend leading an entire ceremony. Yup, not great. Professionals don’t get nervous, that is why they’re professionals.

6. To save money

If one of your main reasons for why you want to have a relative or friend to officiate your wedding ceremony is to save money, or spend no money, then think again. The adage, “You get what you pay for” Can be appropriate here.  Couples spend so much time and money on choosing flowers and reception details that they underestimate the importance of the ceremony. A seasoned professional can set the tone for the entire wedding experience, start to finish. Your officiant is your least expensive vendor when you compare services to a florist, photographer or coordinator. To skimp in this area may set unintentionally a negative tone for the entire day.

7.  Licensure - Many couples overlook the fact that in order to have a legally recognized marriage, it has to be sanctioned by the state you are being married in.  License wedding officiants know how to navigate the marriage licensing process, which is really confusing in Hawaii, so you can emerge from the process legally married world wide.